I'm looking for a no-strings-attached relationship for the sole purpose of creating offspring. I'm female and as you can see from my photo, I'm a quite attractive specimen.
My proper name is Laurus nobilis but my friends also know me as Bay Laurel. I've reached sexual maturity and I'm blooming for the first time but I am all alone and need a mate. Age or looks are unimportant. My only concern is if you can provide me with the children I so greatly desire.
Since this is my first time, I'm not sure how long I'll be fertile but I know it will be at least another year before I have a second chance. Time is of the essence! Even a brief encounter between us could be very productive!
You don't need to live nearby. Your pollen could be sent through the mail! I could even entertain multiple males at once!
If you are a male of my species and are willing and able to share some pollen, please send your contact information so we can arrange a meeting. I'm really looking forward to rubbing your anther against my stigma!